I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
