Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
