saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
