One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
