hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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