Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize