I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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