Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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