does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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