forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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