I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
