Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
