...so i touched it.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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