and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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