We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
