We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
