Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
