no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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