Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
