eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
