The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
