and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
