I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
