Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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