Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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