I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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