you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
