You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
