Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize