It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
