I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
