So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
