I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
