My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
