So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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