Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think a kid would responsible me up
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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