I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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