She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
