Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
