i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
