I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
