that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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