I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
