If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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