hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
