Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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