we made out on top of his cat.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dear god my vagina.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
