That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
