Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i've created a new STD.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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