I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
