what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
