I smell stomach acid.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
