PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
