Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
