i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
