I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize