Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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