we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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