it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
