At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Screwed.edu
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
